


Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep

by spaceconspiracy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alzheimer's Disease, Depression, F/M, Homophobia, I'm Sorry, Internalized Homophobia, Janitor!Gabriel - Freeform, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Sucicide, Near Death Experience, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Physical Disability, THIS HAS TOO MANY TAGS, lawyer!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceconspiracy/pseuds/spaceconspiracy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Sam questions his decision to be a lawyer, but when his late nights end with Gabriel Novak, it's okay. A stereotypical love story straight from a bad romance novel, but hey, the world needs more happy endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss My Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> So, this took me several months to finish, wow, and this is probably the longest fic that I've ever written. I got sort of lazy there at the end, but in my defense I had to get this done by today and aigeiapoaaa. So here I am. 
> 
> Also sorry for the lack of Dean/Castiel but for the purpose of this I had to exclude it (though if you're patient there may be a surprise for you at the end.) And sorry about the Daphne/Castiel thing, but hey, it only lasts a little bit. Alright I better shut up now before i give everything away. 
> 
> Also lots of italics were lost in the process of transferring this over, I will fix that a later date I swear.

Sometimes Sam questions his decision to become a lawyer.

It's not that he doesn't like the work, because he does. Most of his colleagues complain about the paperwork and more than anything, even in the courtroom, but that's Sam's favorite part. What he doesn't like is being holed up in the office at late hours because his client “changed his mind” about persecuting the guy that had beaten the shit out of him.

On this particular night, he's doing just that when he meets Gabriel Novak.

All Sam knows about him is that, as far as he can tell, Gabriel's a janitor who spends his days munching on candy bars and cleaning up after holier-than-thou lawyers. Sam's seen him floating around, but has never actually said hello. So when, at midnight, on a Saturday, Gabriel comes into the office space Sam shares with three other people, he makes an effort to.

“Hi,” he smiles through the tiredness he can feel crawling across his face.

Gabriel stops his sweeping and peers up at Sam with amber eyes. Around a mouthful of chocolate, he says, “What do you need.” His tone is clipped, but there's the barest hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth that you wouldn't see unless you were staring right at him.

“What?” Sam blinks. “No, nothing I was just saying hi.”

“Why?”

Sam's taken aback, and he leans back in his seat automatically. “It's called being nice, you should try it sometime.”

Gabriel stares at him for a long moment, unblinking, amber eyes startlingly bright. Sam stares right back, and eventually, Gabriel breaks out into a huge grin.

“I like you,” he says and then he's out the door, and Sam's left wondering what exactly just happened.

~X~

The second time Sam stays late, Gabriel's there.

Without prompting, he comes into Sam's office and collapses on a spare chair. Without looking at Sam, he digs into the pocket of his navy jumpsuit, and pulls out a lollipop. He takes the wrapped off and sets it on Sam's desk before popping it into his mouth, lifting his golden eyes to meet Sam's.

Sam can't help but laugh. “What are you doing?”

“Sitting,” Gabriel winks.

“Shouldn't you be working?” Sam sets the papers in his hands aside.  
  
Gabriel shrugs. “Everything's clean.”

“So why are you still here?”

His smile grows. “I told you. I like you.”

~X~

The next time they run into each other, it's day time and in the office lounge.

Gabriel's on a primitive cell phone that looks strangely like a Nokia, whispering quickly and with a strained voice into the receiver. He's leaning against the fridge, and Sam watches him from his place at the small, round table across the room.

Some five minutes later, Gabriel screams at the top of his lungs, “FUCK YOU, CASTIEL!” And then he's hurling the cell across the room, where it bounces harmlessly off the wall above Sam's head, clattering to the floor with the screen still lit up, displaying Gabriel's rainbow-leopard print wallpaper.

Sam's the only one in the room besides Gabriel – the latter looks at him, hands shaking, and eyes burning. “Sorry, Sam.”

Sam doesn't have time to be concerned with how Gabriel knows his first name, when the nameplate on his desk says nothing more than “S. Winchester.” Instead, he stands and moves towards Gabriel. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel turns away, amber eyes sparkling, and for some reason, Sam thinks of champagne.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Gabriel stares at Sam through angry tears, and cracks a half-smile. “Have I told you how much I like you?”

~X~

It's night again this time, but Sam's at some late-night coffee shop – he makes a point to avoid bars at all costs – instead of work, when Gabriel suddenly materializes across from him.

“Jesus,” Sam splutters when the smaller man falls into the seat across from his. “Gabriel? What are you doing here?”

Gabriel grins, leaning over and closing Sam's laptop. This is the first time Sam's seen him out of his work uniform, and he's not surprised to see that plaid does wonders for his eyes, even if it's the odd combination of yellow and blue. “Sitting,” Gabriel says, like he did that second night, and Sam smiles back, just a little.

“Are you following me?” And if there's a hint of flirting in his tone, so be it.

Gabriel shrugs, “No, actually.” He peers at Sam out of the corner of one of his eyes. “I was walking home and saw you in here and thought I'd come say hi. That is what friends do, right?”

Sam doesn't know when they started being friends – maybe after he let Gabriel rant and rave about his brother, Castiel – but he's not opposed to it. Sam sighs and swipes his laptop off the tabletop putting it into his messenger back along with his various folders and pens. “Do you have plans tonight?”

“Why would I have plans?”  
  
Sam looks up. “It's Friday, dude. Most people have plans.”

Gabriel stares at Sam for a long moment. “Did you just call me dude?”

Sam nods with a grin.

Gabriel shakes his head, “I still don't believe I've mentioned I like you.”  
  
~X~

The end up at Sam's apartment, and he doesn't think he'll ever remember how they got there, because there's no way they walked all seven blocks in the dead of winter in New York City. Then again, maybe they did, and Gabriel's presence just kept him warm.

He wouldn't be surprised – Gabriel does give off this aura of heat that reminds Sam of the sun.

The next thing he knows, Gabriel's sitting in Sam's favorite Lay-Z-Boy chair like he owns it, with a cup off hot coffee held in his hands, amber eyes still looking at Sam. Sam stares back though, because he's not afraid of a little eye contact, and, he might as well admit it, he's counting the brown flecks in Gabriel's irises.

“Tell me about yourself, Sam,” Gabriel says too quietly to be casual.

Sam swallows – that's one thing he is afraid of, talking about himself. He's always afraid people will run away. “There's not much to tell,” he admits after a stretched silence. “You already know where I work.”

“No, tell me something personal,” Gabriel looks away when he says this, setting his coffee cup on the table and it doesn't even bother Sam that he doesn't use a coaster, like it usually would.

“My brother died one year ago today.”

He doesn't know what makes him say it, just that Gabriel glances up, golden eyes startled, but the rest of his face remains carefully blank. “What happened?” Sam likes that Gabriel doesn't say sorry. He hates it when people say sorry.

Sam has to cough around the lump in his throat – he hasn't talked about Dean in a long time. “He, ah, he killed himself.” He coughs again. “I still don't know why. Don't think I ever will.”

Gabriel's eyes soften. “You're making me feel like an ass, Sammy.”

The nickname stings Sam in the left ventricle of his heart, but he likes the way it sounds in Gabriel's always halfway sarcastic voice. “Why?”

“Here I am, throwing kanipshits about Castiel,” Gabriel shrugs. “I don't know, I just --”

“Don't feel bad,” and if Sam scoots a little closer towards him from his place on the couch, well, that's okay, too.

When Gabriel looks up again, Sam's leaning far into his personal space, and he's just about to pull away and stumble over an apology, but Gabriel rests a hand on the back of his neck and pulls him forward, instead. It's clumsy at first, because Sam thinks they're both a little surprised, but soon the kiss delves into deeper, smoother movements, and before Sam can even process anything , Gabriel's straddling his lap and running his fingers through his hair and pushing him against the back of the couch.

It's several long moments before either of them break away for air, and then they just stare at each other, shifting hazel upon gold, and eventually Gabriel says, “I guess I don't have to keep reminding you of how much I like you.”

~X~

It's relatively easy after that.

Sam hasn't been in a relationship in a very, very long time, not since Garth, but having Gabriel is like having a second skin. It's easier than breathing, and warm, and protective, and Sam will be damned if he ever sheds it.

Gabriel's favorite part is to openly display their relationship right there in front of everybody, even though Sam's worried at first that Zachariah, his boss, will throw a bitch fit and fire them on the spot. He doesn't, much to Sam's relief, and then it's even easier after that.

It's only been three months of make-out sessions in Gabriel's closet (he is the janitor after all), and late movie nights that end with popcorn all over Sam's apartment and Gabriel in his bed, when Sam meets Castiel.

He comes in on a Thursday, which Gabriel's always joking is Castiel's favorite day, dressed in a suit and trench coat and blue eyes wild. He stumbles into Sam's office first, dark hair windblown and sticking up all around his head. “You must be Sam,” Castiel says in a voice deeper than Sam expected, moving forward and taking one of Sam's hands in both of his. “I've heard much about you.”

Sam shoves away the swell of warmth in his chest at the thought of that. “Yeah, same,” he tries to smile, but Castiel's unblinking, intense blue gaze makes him waver just a little. Then again, Gabriel did tell him that Castiel has that effect on people.

“Cassie!” Gabriel calls some thirty seconds later, bounding into the office and throwing his arms around his older brother, who looks uncomfortable.  
  
“Hello, Gabriel,” Castiel manages to breathe.

Gabriel untangles himself. “And you've met my Samsquatch, great! How long are you staying?”

Castiel's eyes darken. “As long as you wish for me to.”

“If I had it my way, you'd stay forever, bro,” Gabriel rolls his amber eyes. “Now come on, I have a lot to show you, Sam's here got work. Now you get to see why I like him so much.”

~X~

` “I don't get it.”

“What are you talking about?” Sam says around a mouthful of popcorn, tearing his eyes away from Iron Man.  
  
Gabriel shrugs from his place against Sam's shoulder, and Sam can feel the whole movement along his torso. “I mean, you're some big hotshot lawyer, and I'm just a janitor. I don't get it.”  
  
Sam pauses Iron Man just as Robert Downey Jr. makes a very interesting face, and sits up, putting both his hands on Gabe's forearms. “Because you're funny and smart and a great cook and quite possibly the bravest man I've ever met, considering you had the guts to put tuna in Zachariah’s briefcase.”

Gabriel smirks a little. “I am pretty brave aren't I?”

Sam laughs, “And arrogant. But that's why I like you.”

~X~

It's a touchy subject, but Sam works up the nerve to ask Gabriel why Castiel's here.

“I mean, he's a cool guy and all,” Sam shrugs, “He just seems a little, I don't know --”

“Off?” Gabriel raises an eyebrow, flopping backwards onto the bed they've been sharing for quite a few nights now, and let's face it, considering Sam's toothbrush is in the bathroom, he's practically moved in. “He's always been that way.”

“I was gonna say depressed.”

Gabriel lets loose a long sigh. “His wife, Daphne, just left him. It's taking a toll on him, you know? I mean they met under some seriously freaky circumstances.”

Sam doesn't say anything – a silent prompt to continue.  
  
“Cas had an accident, a while back. We still don't know what happened, just that he woke up without any memory, wandering through some nature trail. I think it was Crowley.”

“Crowley?”

“My brother, he, ah. He's got some serious internalized homophobia,” Gabriel snorts. “That guy's gayer than me, he's just too much of a priss to see it.”

Sam nudges him with a smile, “Thought you went both ways.”

Gabriel shifts his gaze to Sam's face. “I go your way.”

Sam swallows.

“Anyway, he had this fling with this awful guy, Balthazar. Always hated him. He's British, if that explains anything.”

Sam allows himself a small laugh.

“Cas freaked out so much over it that he broke it off, and that's when Balthazar turned stalkerish. Sent him all these creepy emails and letters, even sent me and our family and Balthazar's friends pictures of the two of them, though how he got those I'll never know. Our parents rejected Castiel, me, too, when I played the wild card. So we packed up and we moved.

“I think Balthazar followed us, though there's no real proof, and I think he did something to Cas. The thing is, Cas doesn't remember. Just that, like I said, he woke up. And there Daphne was. She helped him, and I don't know, I guess she was his escape route from his homoeroticness, but some time later they got married, and moved out west, and that was that.

“Then she found out about his fling with Balthazar, and even though it was forever ago, she went berserk and she left him. Something about him tainting her life or something. Didn't want him around the baby.”

“Baby?” Sam chokes.

“Oh yeah, she's five months in. Cas is really torn up about it, he just wants to see his kid. I had him come out here to get his mind away from it. So, there ya go. I just told you my brother's life story.”

Sam grins and runs his fingers through Gabriel's hair. “I'll keep it between us.”

“You better,” Gabriel jokes, but then he's pulling Sam in for a kiss.

It's not until afterward that he says, “I love you.”

~X~

For Sam it doesn't take long to say it back. At first he wasn't sure if he could, but then he realized it, realized this love, and he told Gabriel over and over and over until he was blue in the face.

They took Cas out to Sam's favorite coffee shop, and Gabriel allowed Sam to tell Cas that he knew, and that if he ever needed anyone, Sam was always there.

“Seriously,” Sam whispers, resting a hand on Castiel's forearm when he wouldn't stop fumbling with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. “Mutual love, dude.”

Cas smiles, just a little, and it's the first time Sam's seen him do so. “Thank you, Sam.”

Sam shrugs nonchalantly. “Don't worry about it. I had a brother, I totally get it.”

“Had?”

Gabriel's eyes flit to Sam's face, who's hating himself for bringing it up. But Castiel's eyes look so wide, and blue, and innocent, that he finds himself fishing his wallet out and pulling out the single picture he had.

Cas takes it tentatively, blue eyes flashing as they fall on the picture. “What's – was his name?”

“Dean,” Sam whispers, and he's not going to let himself cry.

“He seems like he was a very good man.”

“He was.”

Gabriel pulls Sam closer to him and says that, “I love you,” thing again, and somehow Sam knows it's all okay.

~X~

It takes much poking and prodding from Gabriel, but Sam finds it in himself to visit Dean's grave.

He's a lot less composed than he thought he'd be, what with the whole morning spent practicing what he'd say in the mirror. The truth is, he's never visited Dean's grave site. He can't bring himself to, not without getting angry and hurt all over again, and even though there's been multiple times where he's gotten in the car and halfway there, he's never actually made it to his destination. He always pulls over and cries and then goes home and does something else to occupy his mind.

Gabriel's really supportive though, which is more than Sam could ever ask for.

Sam practically falls over in the grass, with his knees brought up to his chest, sobbing at the slab of stone before him. It's been over a year, but that's not nearly enough time. Gabriel holds him, and whispers sweet nothings in his ear, and eventually Sam cries himself dry and just sits there, and let's Gabe hug him, and stares at the stone.

Gabriel pokes him after a little while. “Talk to him.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Sam stares at Gabe's amber eyes, counting the brown flecks in them for that must be the billionth time as he dredges up the strength and courage to do what he Gabe asked, who buries his face into Sam's shoulder for reassurance.

After a long moment of staring at his brother's name engraved in stone, he says. “Hey, Dean. I, ah, it's been a while. You know, I hear Heaven's great,” he can feel Gabriel smile against his neck at that, “Hope you got that seventy-two virgins you always joked about. All the pie in the world. I’m fine, I swear. Just fine. This is Gabriel. He's really annoying,” Gabriel laughs, “But I love him. You would too. After the whole big brother speech. You'd like his brother too, Castiel, he's really weird but he's got these freaky blue eyes. You've always been a sucker for blue eyes.”

Sam takes a deep settling breath. “This was Gabriel's idea, the whole talking to you, thing. Gabe has some really great ideas, not counting that time he decided to put tuna in Zachariah's – our boss – briefcase. Yeah, that was bad.” He laughs a little, and somewhere in the wind he swears he can hear Dean laughing too. “I love you, Dean, and I'm sorry – I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you needed me.” He chokes a little. “I'm sorry I'm too late, but I'll see you again, 'kay? Not too soon, though, 'cause then I'm pretty sure you'd kick my ass.”

He can't say any more after that, but that's okay.

When they're walking back to the car, it's Sam who says, “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

~X~

They're in the middle of making love, smooth and slow, and sweet, when Gabriel blurts, “Move in with me.”

Sam stops what he's doing with much restraint. “What?”

“Move in with me. Or, I can move in with you, I mean your place is bigger, but either way, I'd just really like to do this every morning, you know? I want to wake up and have you there – okay, this is really gay and sappy, I'm sorry.”

Sam just smiles. “I thought you'd never asked.”

Gabriel pulls him back down to kiss him. “I can't wait to tell you every morning that I love you.”

~X~

“Sam,” Castiel breathes into the phone. “Daphne called, and it's time, it's --”

“Hey, Cas, calm down, I'll get Gabriel,” Sam sprints to the kitchen where Gabriel's making cupcakes and singing way off key to Mumford & Sons. “Gabe,” he turns the radio down and thrusts the phone towards him. “It's Cas.”

Gabriel frowns and takes the phone. “Hellllooo?” His eyes grow wide. “What, no way?! Where?! Okay, okay, Samsquatch and I are going right now.” He hangs up the phone and tosses it onto the counter with a clatter, before turning the oven off and putting the bowl of batter in the sink. “Sammy, we're having a baby!”

It's three states over, and Sam doesn't think they'll ever make it in time – he's glad Cas caught a last minute flight, because that's something he doesn't deserve to miss.

They spend the entire car ride making bets on whether it'll be a boy or girl, or if Daphne will suck it up and take Cas back, or if Cas will move on from Daphne, and what the baby's name will be, and all sorts of things, and they get pulled over twice for speeding (the second time, Gabriel yelled to get a move on the the young, pretty officer with a badge that read Mills, because “We're having a baby!” and Sam laughed for the next ten miles at her answering expression.)

It's nearing midnight on the second day when they finally arrive at Mercy Hospital, and Gabriel's running on three cups of coffee and five donuts. He jumps up and down and demands to know what room Daphne Novak's in.

“Visiting hours or over in the maternity ward,” the nurse with the name tag that reads Ruby pops a pink bubble gum, and Gabriel looks like he's ready to launch over the counter and throttle her so Sam cuts in.

“Look, lady, that's our brother's kid, we need to get in there now.”

“I'm sorry,” she rolls her eyes, and she doesn't look sorry at all, “But I --”

“I can help you,” a pretty, red-headed doctor steps up to them. “Daphne’s one of my mine, you must be Castiel's brother.” She holds out a hand. “Anna Milton.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you, can I see my nephew and/or niece now?”

The elevator ride is spent with tension, and when they reach the floor, Gabriel dashes down the hall, the sugar in his veins screaming, “Castiel Novak, where are you?!”

Sam runs after him, and by the time he reaches the room that Gabriel had disappeared into, Gabe's already got a bundle of blankets in his arms and he's crying.

Cas is crying too, even though he tries to hide it, and who can only be Daphne is staring at them with a small smile that looks underused on her face.

“Another Novak boy,” Gabriel whispers to Sam, amber eyes more alive than Sam's ever seen them. “Come here, Samsquatch, he's cuter than those rainbow cupcakes I make.”

Sam smiles and even though he feels a little awkward intruding on this family moment, he moves closer. Gabriel's right, the baby is cuter than those rainbow cupcakes, and those are pretty darn adorable. He's got a full head of hair just as dark as Castiel's, and his blue eyes are flown wide and staring intensely, another thing Sam's willing to bet will follow him into adulthood – just like his father.

“What's his name?” Sam asks.

Cas looks at Daphne, who shakes her head. “I didn't feel right choosing one without Castiel.” She places a hand on his forearm, an apology sparkling in her green eyes, and Cas' mouth sets in a firm line as he nods once. “But, as an apology, I'd like him too.”

“Oh, no, I couldn't --”

“I can!” Gabriel exclaims, standing up, holding the baby closer to his chest. “I have the best one in the world, too, as a homage to my dear Samsquatch here.”

“What?” Sam asks and Gabriel smiles sly at him before whispering into Castiel's ear.

Cas breaks out into a huge grin that Sam's never seen on his face, but it looks really great, that Sam finds himself wondering why he doesn't smile more often. “I think Sam would appreciate that.”

“Call it a way to include him in our weird little family,” Gabriel nods. “As long as Daphne's on board. Though she doesn't really get a say.”

Daphne laughs.

“It's a beautiful name,” Castiel hedges, and then when he whispers it to her, along with some back story Sam can't hear, she smiles too and tears up a little.

“That's more than beautiful,” she exclaims.

“His middle name's definitely Gabriel though,” Castiel jokes, nudging his brother.

“Yuck! As much as I appreciate it, that's the worst combination of first and middle names ever!” Gabriel bounces the baby gently. “That's worse than Sam Kieth, and that's pretty bad.”

“Hey,” Sam grins. “Come on, nothing's worse than Sam Kieth.”

“Dean Gabriel Novak, though?” Gabriel raises an eyebrow.

“Dean?”

A silence falls.

“Like I said,” Gabriel whispers. “A way to include him in our weird little family.”

In that moment, Sam doesn't care that Daphne's watching them and probably flinching because of their big gay love, and he doesn’t care that Cas is, too, and he doesn’t' care that Daphne will probably throw a kanipshit because Gabe's holding her baby, he doesn’t care about anything – he reaches over and grabs Gabriel and kisses him harder than he's ever kissed him before, and when Dean Gabriel Novak gurgles, Sam laughs and cries all at the same time.

“I love all of you,” Gabriel says, passing the baby off to Cas and throwing his arms around Sam. “And I take that back – Dean Gabriel Novak is the coolest name ever.”

~X~

“Cas is awesome.”  
  
“What?” Sam looks up from his paperwork, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“My brother!” Gabriel crosses the room and perches himself on the edge of Sam's desk. “He's awesome! Daphne's a bipolar little bitch and she's pulling that whole Balthazar/Cas fiasco card again.”

“I thought they were getting along,” Sam gapes.

“They were! I mean, she won't have sex with him but,” he shrugs.

“Dude, too much information.”

Gabe rolls his amber eyes. “Either way, she's been acting really fucking physco lately. I mean, she was kind of crazy before, but I guess she's got postpartum depression now and she hasn't been taking her bipolar meds, and she started threatening Cas and everything. So he got a restraining order.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup! Also, she got locked up, and right now he's got the baby,” Gabriel hesitates there and rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “Hey, uh, Sammy, I was wondering. Would you mind if Cas --”

“No,” Gabriel doesn't even have ti finish the thought. “I mean, no I wouldn't mind, that'd be great.”

Gabriel grins and bounds into Sam's lap, kissing him hard. “I love you, Samsquatch.”

~X~

Sam does mind.

It's not until later though, when Dean Gabriel Novak starts waking up crying in the middle of the night, and Sam has to squash three or four pillows over his head to drown out the noise. Even Gabriel's woken by the noise, which is score one for the baby – or Dean Jr. as Sam and Gabe have taken to calling him – considering that Gabriel can sleep through almost anything, even Sam's incredibly loud snoring.

“Gabe,” Sam complains on the fifth night.

“I know,” Gabriel says back with a heavy sigh. “Go help him.”

“Why do I have to do it?”

“Because I said so.”

Sam throws a pillow over Gabriel's face but climbs out of bed anyway, throwing a t-shirt on and slipping out into the hallway.

He's startled to see Cas sitting on the floor of the guest room that's become his, crying even harder than the baby, who's flailing his tiny limbs on the bed.

“Jesus, Cas,” Sam says, rushing into the room and picking Dean Jr. up, patting his back as softly as he can, and shushing him. It takes several minutes, but eventually the baby stops crying enough for Sam to lay him down in his bassinet – Gabriel always said Sam had this weird Gentle Giant way with him, and only Sam can make him stop crying so quickly.  
  
“Hey,” Sam grabs Castiel's shoulder, who's still on the floor crying. “Get a hold of yourself.”

“I – I – can't,” Cas sobs, but Sam yanks him to his feet and he yelps in surprise.

“You have to, man,” Sam says, both hands on his shoulders now. “This isn't about you anymore, you have a baby to take care of. Stop crying and get a grip alright? That baby needs you.”

Cas blinks wearily up at Sam. “This is much harder than I anticipated.”

“That's life, Cas,” Sam shrugs. “It's always harder than you anticipated. You'll be fine, I promise. Daphne will too, and this baby, and you know that Gabriel and I are always here for you, right?”

Cas sniffs and nods.

“Good,” Sam pulls him in for a quick hug, then pulls away and pats him once on the back. “No more crying, alright? I love ya, man.”

Cas smiles just a little. “I love you too, Sam. And thank you.”

~X~

Cas bounces Dean Jr. on his lap and makes faces at him, inciting loud giggles that resonate throughout the apartment.

Sam's watching from his desk with a smile, when Gabriel bursts into the apartment, arms full of various gift bags and balloons and a giant stuffed teddy bear that Sam bets Gabriel bought the moment he saw it.

“What's all this?” Sam questions, helping Gabriel put the bags down on the tabletop.

“It's my nephew's six month birthday!” Gabriel beams, thrusting a balloon in Castiel's direction. “Ta-dah!”

“Gabriel, this is unnecessary,” Castiel sighs, carefully placing Dean Jr. on his favorite blanket on the floor surrounded by a copious amount of toys that Gabriel's already bought for him.

“This is my nephew we’re talking about!” Gabriel gives a toothy grin, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from the baby, who giggles as Gabriel blows a raspberry at him. “Nothing's unnecessary! On a side note, Halloween's this Wednesday and I got him the best outfit ever. Sam hand me the orange-and-black striped bag.”

Sam complies, but not without sneaking a peek. “Really, Gabriel.”

“Really!” Gabe says, pulling out a fuzzy bumblebee costume.

“You’re kidding,” Cas huffs.

“I am not! We are taking Dean Jr. out trick-or-treating, and he is going to be a honeybee and there is nothing you can say about it!” Gabriel pulls the baby into his lap and starts carefully pushing the costume on over his round head.

“Quit complaining,” Gabriel scolds, “I'm only doing this because I love you.”

~X~

Dean Jr. learns to walk early.

It's Halloween afternoon, and both Sam and Gabriel have requested the day off, for the sole purpose that Gabriel has way too many extravagant Halloween festivities planned. It's early in the morning, and Gabriel's already dressed up like the devil (apparently some inside joke about his and Castiel's cousin that Sam really doesn't want to know about) and Dean Jr. is clad in his bumblebee costume.

Sam and Cas are talking over coffee when Gabriel says, “HOLY SHIT, LOOK!”

Sam almost spills his coffee at Gabriel's loud exclamation, but when he looks over it's totally worth it.

Dean Jr. is hobbling on his legs, gripping the couch for support, when suddenly, he releases his hold and takes two very unstable step in Cas' direction, hand outstretched and a toothless smile on his face.

“Oh my God,” Cas whispers, sliding out of his chair and onto the floor, arms outstretched, reaching for his son.

Dean Jr giggles and falls into Castiel's arm, who sweeps him into a tight hug and starts tearing up a little. “You are the best gift in the entire world,” he whispers into his baby's ear, and okay, so Sam tears up a little. Sue him.

“I love Halloween!” Gabriel exclaims.

~X~

It comes out of nowhere.

“I want kids.”

Sam stops brushing his teeth and stares at Gabriel in the mirror. “What?” he mumbles around his toothbrush, and then spits in the sink when he realizes he sounds ridiculous. He wipes his mouth off the hand towel and turns around to face Gabriel, who's sitting on the edge of the tub and running his hand under the water.

Gabriel looks up at him. “I said, I want kids.”

“What, now?”

“Not now,” Gabriel shrugs, but his eyes tighten a little at the edges. “One day. I've always wanted kids and a family. Can I tell you something I've never told anybody?”

Sam's practically floored but he nods.

“I knocked my girlfriend, Kali, up back in the eleventh grade,” Gabriel's eyes shine, and something in Sam's throat clenches. “We were only sixteen, Sam, and --” he sniffs. “Cas knows, but our parents never found out. She, ah, we put the baby up for adoption, a closed one. I guess I already am a dad, but you know, I never knew the kid.”

“Oh, Gabe.”

“No, it's okay,” Gabriel shuts the water to the bathtub off. He keeps his hand on the knob for a long moment. “Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

Gabriel looks up at him, and smiles a soft smile. “I love you.”

~X~

“I found a place,” Cass announces one morning over breakfast just as he's feeding Dean Jr. a spoonful of applesauce.

“Where?” Gabriel chokes around his doughnut and Sam stops chewing on his scrambled eggs.

“A house, by the law firm,” Cas smiles. “That way we're close.”

“Hells yeah!” Gabriel runs a hand through the baby's dark head of air. “You're stuck with Uncle Gabe, Dean Jr!”

Dean Jr stares at him with eyes as blue and bright as his dad's, and he tilts his head and says, “Gabe,” for the first time and Gabriel inflates like a balloon with joy.

“I knew this kid loved me!”

~X~

It's their one year anniversary.

Sam's reminded of such when Gabriel starts jumping up and down on their bed at six thirty am, yelling, “Wake up, my Samsquatch, big, big day!”

Sam groans and pulls a pillow over his head. “Gabe, it's six am on a Saturday. Why are you awake.”

“There's no sleeping on big, big days!” Gabriel jumps up and slaps Sam's ass playfully, causing him to yelp and jolt upright in bed. “Come on, Samsquatch, big plans.”

“What plans?”

“Breakfast in bed, for starters, followed by great sex, and then lunch at that place by those awful polluted rivers that you like so much, and then dinner at some fancy Italian restaurant, and I'm not even going to get into what's for dessert,” Gabriel winks.

Sam laughs. “You're lucky I love you.”

“Only the luckiest!” Gabriel smiles.”Love ya too, big boy, now up and attem!”

~X~

“I've been thinking,” Gabriel begins, and Gabriel thinking is never a good sign, so Sam can't help but swallow.

It's been a long and eventful one-year anniversary, and Sam hopes more than anything they get more of those, because this has quite possibly been the best day of his entire life.

They're splayed out on their bed, sticky and sweaty from some very interesting sex – Sam's known for a long time now that Gabriel has a serious food kink, but he never knew the kinds of things he could do with melted chocolate and whip cream until tonight – Gabriel tucked under one of Sam's arms.

“Hmm?” Sam replies to Gabriel's statement, threading his fingers through his hair.

“It's legal in this stupid state now, and you know, people do this after only like a month, and it's been a year, and I know a year doesn't seem like much, but it's been a very eventful year, and you know, I just love you so much and, and --”

“Gabe, you're rambling again, just say it.”

Gabriel props himself up on his elbow and peers at Sam. “I don't have a ring.”

“What?”

“Samuel Keith Winchester,” Gabriel states very slowly, rolling over so he's on top of Sam's chest. “Wow, this is harder than I thought.”

“Come on, Gabe.”

“Will you marry me?” The words come out rushed and then Gabriel's flushing and kind of looking like he wants to die, which is ironic, because Sam's never felt more alive.

“Oh my God, yes, yes,” Sam grabs him and kisses him, “Yes, I love you, yes.”

~X~

“Let's not turn this into one of those freaky five-year-engagements, please, because they always end tragically, like some sort of bad chick flick novel.”

Sam laughs gently, pushing another card into an envelope. Now he understands all the hype about planning a wedding, but he thinks this is way worse than all those bad romantic comedies, because they can't for the life of them find a pastor willing to do it. You'd think it'd be easier in New York City.

“Gabriel, we already have a date.”

“Those things always get postponed and redone and etc, etc, etc,” Gabriel waves his hand. “Who are you sending those things to anyway? We don't have a lot of friends.”

“Coworkers, family,” Sam sighs. “Though, I doubt they'll come.”

“We're just one big controversy aren't we, Samsquatch,” Gabriel winks. “It's like Romeo and Juliet. Or Romeo and Romeo.”

“I love you,” Sam laughs and shakes his head.

“I love you more than Dean Jr. loves honey bees. See, I told you dressing him like one was a good idea! Now he's addicted to them things.”

~X~

It happens in Publix.

Sam's carefully examining a grapefruit and trying to figure out if it's worth the three dollars and forty-nine cents it's selling for, when he hears loud laughter off to his left. He looks up to see Gabriel talking to some guy dressed in a smart, all-black suit, who has a hand settled on Gabriel's forearm.

Sam almost drops the grapefruit he's holding and without thinking, he abandons his post and cart and moves quickly towards Gabriel and the stranger.

“Hey, Gabe,” he says a little too loudly, wrapping an arm around his fiancee's waist. “Who's this?”

The other man raises an eyebrow and says in a clearly accented voice, “Name's Crowley. And you are?”

“Sam Winchester,” Sam extends a hand. “Fiancee.”

“Fiancee?” Crowley asks, raising an eyebrow. “Impressive, Gabriel.”

Gabriel steps on Sam's foot. “I'm aware.”

“Well, have fun with your moose,” Crowley smirks, and then he's off, whistling what sound strangely like the Doctor Who theme song under his breath.

“Did he just call me moose?” Sam blinks after him and Gabriel snickers. “Who was that anyway?”

“Just an old flame,” Gabriel shrugs. “No big deal.”

Sam grumbles a little. “I told you we should get those rings.”

“Engagement rings are overrated.”

“We're getting them,” Sam decides for the two of them. “I don't need more guys like that hitting on you.”

“You're paranoid,” Gabriel drawls, but Sam knows from the glint in his eye that he's forgiven for it.

“You love me anyway.”

~X~

Gabriel gets a letter in the mail on his birthday.

Sam's just as excited as Gabriel was on their one-year anniversary, and woke up early to decorate the kitchen and everything; he has this whole big day planned, and he's holding two sparklers and ready to scream “Happy Birthday!” when Gabriel comes back into the house, in tears.

Sam feels incredibly awkward with the party hat on his head as the sparklers fizzle out. “What's wrong?”

“It's from – my daughter,” Gabriel waves the letter towards Sam, who takes it and scans it quickly.

“She wants to meet you,” Sam states bluntly.

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to?” Sam raises an eyebrow, pulling the party hat off his hand and handing the letter back to Gabriel.

“I can't just not, Sam,” Gabriel shakes his head and flops down on the couch. “I mean, she's my daughter, I have to.”

“Of course. I'm here for you,” Sam sits down next to him and rubs his in between his shoulder blades in small circles.

“I know,” Gabriel smiles at him. “But, Sam, I --” he frowns. “I'm going to try and contact Kali.”

“What?” Sam pulls his hand away.

“She's her daughter too,” Gabriel explains defensively. “And her letter says she can't find her, and, Sam, she has every right to meet her, too, you know.”

“I never said she didn't, I just – Gabe, I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Well how do you know?” Gabriel jumps to his feet. “You know nothing about her, Sam!”

“Gabriel --”

“Stop being so quick to judge everybody.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Sam involuntarily brings his voice to a near-scream, towering over Gabriel, who doesn't even flinch. “I'm not judging anybody!”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Samuel.”

“Fuck you!” Sam screams, but as soon as the words are out he regrets them.

Hurt flashes briefly across Gabriel's face, and then he's grabbing his keys off the coffee table and his jacket and storming out of there, but not without a bitter and sarcastic, “Yeah, love ya too, Sammy,”and then he's gone and out the door.

~X~

Sam calls Cas up, and it takes them hours to find Gabriel.

They find him in some no-name bar in some back alleyway at three arm, slumped over the counter, and twisting the engagement ring around and around on his left finger, and slurring to the bartender about teenage mistakes and things you say when you're mad.

“Samsquatch!” Gabriel slurs when Sam half-drags him out of his chair. “Meet my dear friend Corbett here, lovely fella'.” Gabriel stumbles a little into Sam, and for once, Sam's glad of their height difference because it makes it easier for him to sweep Gabriel up in his arms and carry him bridal style out of the bar, even if it does receive them a few wolf whistles.

“Thank you very much!” Gabe calls to the people watching them in his best Elvis-impression. “Gabriel has left the building!”

Sam's buckling him into the back of Cass' car, next to a very confused, very tired Dean Jr, when Gabriel grabs the collar of Sam's shirt and pulls him closer. “Lurvs yeah, Sammeh.”

“Yeah, Gabe, I know.”

~X~

“You look fine,” Sam swats Gabe's hand away when he begins fiddling with his tie again.

“I bet she's tall, like Kali,” Gabriel says, a nervous edge to his voice. “I hope she has my eyes, that whole coffee-skinned, golden-eyes combo would be friggin' beautiful. Who am I kidding, she's beautiful anyway, Sam, she's my daughter!” He says the last word like he's still getting used to the fact. “It's been eighteen years! Her letter said she moved out to here to be a lawyer,” he nudges Sam. “Just like you, Samsquatch.”

Sam smiles.

“Oh my God, that's her,” Gabriel chokes, grasping onto Sam's forearm.

Gabriel's right, she is beautiful, tall, too, topping Gabriel by an inch or so. She has his eyes, and they stand out against the soft coffee color of her skin, highlighting her long hair, that's darker than Gabriel's, but curly. She smiles when she sees the two of them, and throws her arms around his shoulders.

Gabriel hugs her back after looking at Sam with startled, but happy, eyes, and when she pulls away, she hugs Sam too. Gabriel laughs at Sam's jolt of surprise, but his daughter is perfectly at ease, which Sam's willing to bet she got from him.

Dinner is way less awkward than Sam expected, and Gabriel holds Sam's hand under the table, squeezing it every so often when Athena – a name that Kali picked out apparently before putting her up for adoption, and Gabriel joked that she always had a thing for the names of powerful goddesses – revealed another detail of her life.

She got it easy, much to Gabriel's visible relief, was raised good and healthy and she had her schooling all paid for, and the best part is she harbors no ill feelings at all for Gabriel or Kali, and she understands why they did it. Gabriel cries again, and he's been doing it so often lately, that Sam's starting to get a little bit worried.

Athena congratulates them too, and Gabriel invites her right away to the wedding, which Sam is not against at all, and when she's gone, Gabriel throws his arms around Sam and says, “Thank you.”

He doesn't have to say for what. Sam kisses the top of his head affectionately, “Only 'cause I love you.”

~X~

“My parents are coming.”

Sam almost drops Dean Jr, and at the last second swings him up onto his shoulders instead. “Does Cas know?”

Gabriel shrugs and turns the channel on the TV. “Doubt it.”

Sam makes a couple of airplane noises to entertain Dean Jr, who's pulling on his hair. “Are you alright?”

“Their my parents,” Gabe shrugs, “And of course I love them, so. Besides – nothing can go wrong.” He looks up. “I have you.”

~X~

“They don't know about Daphne,” Cas sighs, pacing back and forth in front of Sam and Gabe, hand gripping his airport-issued Starbucks coffee so tightly, Sam's afraid the lids going to pop off. “I've sent them a few pictures of Dean, of course, but they don't know that I have complete custody.”

“Well, they're coming to their gay son's wedding, something in them changed,” Gabriel glances up from his Nintendo DS. “I doubt they'll judge you too harshly.”

“If I had money, I'd bet you,” Castiel breaks off and looks towards the gate when an overheard voice announces that their parent's flight number had arrived.

“Jesus,” Gabe says, tucking his Nintendo into his pocket and standing, resting a hand reassuringly on Castiel's forearm.

Sam stands too, glad for once that Dean Jr. is being babysat instead of here. Gabe and Cas are frozen, staring at an older couple that are much shorter than both of them, which is a thought Sam has to laugh on the inside about. Sam takes it upon himself to push past them and head towards Mr. and Mrs. Novak with a brilliant smile, ignoring Cas and Gabe's sharp hisses of protest.

“You must be Charles and Rebecca” Sam says, and they both tilt their heads back to see his face. “My name is Sam, Sam Winchester.”

“Oh, you're Gabriel's,” Rebecca – Becky – screws up her face. “Fiancee.” She says the word like a curse, and Sam's hand curls into a fist involuntarily. Before he can say anything, Charles – or Chuck, as Gabe sometimes called him, though he knew he hated the name – pipes up, “Where's our sons?”

“Here, Father, we're here,” Castiel materializes on Sam's left and takes one of Chuck's hands in both of his. “It's good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Chuck brushes off. “So where's the baby?”

“Oh, Dean's with the babysitter.”

“Dean?” Becky raises an eyebrow. “What kind of name is Dean.”

Sam's vision goes red, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Gabriel open his mouth too, but it's Castiel who says something, “Dean is the name of a very well-loved, well-respected man who fought for our country --” Sam starts at that one, because as far as he knows, he's never told Cas that Dean fought in Iraq “-- and I am more than proud that my son carries on his legacy.”

Becky sniffs, as indifferent as ever. “Of course you are, darling, that's why I love you. Now where's our bags?”

~X~

Becky awkwardly holds Dean Jr. on her lap, and Sam has to bite back at a laugh at the look on her face when the baby tugs on her hair and coos.

“This place is awfully small,” Chuck says, pushing his thick-framed glasses up his nose, and Sam's laughter dies in his throat.

“It's only intended for two,” Gabriel interjects.

“I should hope so,” Becky mutters, and Sam almost doesn't catch it, but once the words do register he's up out of his seat and extracting Dean Jr out of her hands.

“Get out of my house.”

Becky splutters at him and Chuck stands to, shoving his glasses further up his nose and glaring at Sam with squinted eyes, even though he's at least a foot or so shorter than him. “Excuse me?”

“Excuse me – get out of my apartment. Either way, get out, or I'm calling the cops.”

“Sam, what --”

“I'm sorry, Gabriel, I'm so sorry, but I'm not going to tolerate these two homophobic sons of a bitches criticizing you and your life. I can't let it happen. I love you too much.”

Maybe it's those words that get Gabriel and Cas on board in getting them out.

~X~

“They'll never live that down.”

“I don't care,” Sam sighs, pulling Gabriel closer to him. “I really don't care. You should've seen your face, Gabe, you looked like --” He breaks off, choking a little. “You looked like you were ready to hurl yourself off a cliff, and I can't let that happen either.”

“Oh, Samsquatch.”

He doesn't have to say I love you this time, because his simple touches are enough.

~X~

 

“Honeymoons are overrated. And expensive.”

Sam rolls his eyes, and to be quite honest, he's surprised Gabriel's the one arguing against it. “We have the money.”

“You say we like we're already married.”

“Please,” Sam snorts. “We got married the moment we met.”

Gabriel laughs at that one, a deep laugh that Sam hasn't heard since he basically shoved his parents out their door (they haven't called since, but Cas assures them that they haven't left yet, so Sam's betting they'll come to the wedding after all, as surprising as that would be).

“Isn't there like a capital of chocolate or something? Let's go there.”

“You want to go to Belgium?”  
  
“Why not?”

“Have you ever even been out of the country,” Sam chuckles.

“Have you?”

“Well, no, but --”

“Then shut up,” he throws a pillow at Sam's hand, who narrowly misses it – the pillow hits the lamp on the nightstand by the TV and it goes crashing to the floor.

There's a brief moment of silence, and then they're both laughing, even though it's really not all that funny.

“I don't care where we go,” Sam admits, crossing the room and flopping down on the couch next to Gabriel, winding his arms around him. “As long as you're there.”

“Stop making our relationship a chick flick, it's starting to freak me out.”

“You love it,” Sam snickers, giving Gabriel a quick kiss.

Gabriel pulls away and stares at Sam for a long moment, golden eyes shining, and then he puts a finger to Sam's bottom lip, like he does when he's studying him, or trying to memorize his face. “Not as much as I love you.”

~X~

Sam's almost there when it happens.

He promised Gabe he'd come home early that night, because the next day is the one before their wedding – that's something that Sam's still not getting used to, but he knows that when it happens, he'll be the happiest he's ever been – and so he's trying his best to leave the office.

He gets out later than he intended, not to mention that he still has to stop at the local gas station to pick some things up. So he does, and he's contemplating between a Milky Way and a Snickers to bring home to Gabriel when he hears the cock of a gun and more than one gasp.

Around him, various customers drop to their feet, but he doesn't. At first he thinks it's shock, but then, he's not scared, or numb, or anything. There's nothing but a strong itch he can't ignore to stop this man in the cliché ski mask with his gun raised at the cashier.

The cashier in question is a teenage guy, small and shaking, and pleading, “Please, I'll give you anything you want.”

A woman on the ground tugs his pant leg when he takes a step forward and he glances down startled.

“Be careful,” she mouths like she knows what he's going to do.

“Just calm down,” he says out-loud, and the gunman whips around. Sam sees that his fingers tremble around the trigger – a likely sign that he's never done this before. He puts his hands up, and through the holes in the ski mask, Sam sees the gunman's eyes go wide.

“Get on the ground!” He shouts, but his voice is shaking worse than his hands.

“No,” Sam states simply. “It's alright, you don't have to do this.”

The gun lowers a fraction of an inch. “I s-swear I'll shoot, get on the ground!”

“No you won't,” Sam smiles a little. “You're not that kind of person, I know you're not.”

“You don't know anything about me.”

He's got him now.

“You're right, I don't, my mistake. But I do know that you don’t have to do this. It'll be fine, I can help you.”

“I don't need your help.”

Sam said the wrong thing, because the gunman raises his weapon again, and one, two, three pops that's going to give everyone who heard a solid headache later, if the screaming isn't bad enough.  
  
Sam's vaguely aware of the ground meeting his face, and of warmth spreading out of his chest, and under him, and he barely has enough time to think I'm sorry, I love you, I love you, I love you before he's slipping into black.

~X~

“Sammy.”

When his eyes fly open he's not on Earth, and he doesn't know if he's filled with relief or grief. Probably a deadly combination of both.

“Dean?”

His brother smiles at him, just a little. “Heya, Sammy.”

Sam almost breaks down right then and there, but there's nothing beneath his feet, so if he falls, he'll probably just keep falling forever. “Where are we? How are you --”

“Don't ask,” Dean waves his hands like he used to, and something sharp stabs Sam in the chest. “Long story, but I've only got a minute, okay?”

“What are you talking about?”  
  
It hits him then, the store, the gunman, the blood.

“I'm not --”

“Not yet, and you won't,” Dean's green eyes sharpen and he looks over his shoulder, but there's nothing there either. “Go back.”

A sudden childish panic grips Sam's throat. “I don't know how.”

“Yes you do,” Dean says like it's the easiest thing in the world. “Come on, Sammy, Gabriel's waiting for you.”

GabrielGabrielGabriel.

“Tell him I said hi.”

Everything's fading around Sam, and he's so confused, and he thinks maybe he's just hallucinating or dreaming, or maybe he's in some cliché movie where people on the verge of death see the ones they lost telling them to turn back (he can probably name three right off the top of his head, and a handful of TV shows, that have all displayed such a thing, but he never suspected any truth behind them.)

“I love ya, Sammy.”

He wakes up, and he's choking.

~X~

Sam's never seen Gabriel cry so much. Or Cas for that matter, and it's the most painful thing in the world.

“I'm sorry,” he says, voice still a rough whisper, raw from the tube they had down his throat.

“Don't ever be sorry, Sam,” Gabriel breathes, putting his hands on either side of Sam's face. “Don't ever in a million years be sorry.”  
  
I am, he thinks, but he closes his eyes against Gabriel's touch and nods once. “I'm okay, Gabe, it's okay.”

“Don't ever do that to me again, you understand Samuel Winchester? Don't you dare.”

“I won't,” Sam opens his eyes and leans forward,pressing their foreheads together. “I won't, I love you.”

~X~

“Fuck you, he won't walk again!”

“Gabe, stop.”

“No, this big, bag of dicks is stupid and arrogant and you know what,” he jabs a finger in Dr. Banner's face, who flinches and adjusts his glasses almost automatically. “You can kiss my ass!”

He stalks out of the room, and Sam feels stupid sitting there, twiddling his thumbs, but he hasn't quite figured out the wheelchair yet, so there's not much he can do. There's a mass of emotions written across Dr. Banner's face, and he looks ready to cry – Sam feels kind of bad, but then again there's this hint of resentment in him that he wishes would go away.

One voice in his head is telling him, he could've tried harder to fix you, but the other scolds him and screams, he did the best he could, and Sam's pretty sure his head is about to explode from it.

Dr. Banner takes a deep settling breath after a long moment, and then he sulks with heavy shoulders behind Sam and his wheelchair and quietly wheels him out of the room. Gabriel's in the waiting area on the floor with his head between his knees and Dr. Banner leaves them alone.

“Gabe – “

“I don't care what they say,” Gabriel cuts off, and his tone is like it is when he's ready to pour out his soul, so Sam clamps his mouth shut. “I don't care if they're right, or they're wrong, because I will never stop loving you, and we'll get through this like we get through everything and --”

“I know, Gabe, I know.”

~X~

“I told you you were wrong!” Is the first thing Gabriel snaps around the grin lighting up his face when Sam takes his first hesitant steps. It hurts, and he feels like Dean Jr. probably did when he learned how to walk (now he's zooming around the hospital room with Cas chasing after him, and Sam would laugh if he could).

Dr. Banner smiles a little, and the nurse in the room chuckles and nudges him, and for the first time in what feels like forever Sam smiles.

Dean Jr. comes crashing into him them, and he almost falls over, but Gabriel just barely catches him. The toddler laughs hysterically, and Sam can't help but laugh too, especially when Cas starts spluttering and apologizing and picks Dean Jr. up.

Sam settles on his hospital bed and runs a hand through Dean Jr's wild mess of dark hair that mirrors Castiel's. “It's alright – I love that kid too much to stay mad at him.”

~X~

Three surgeries, one permanent bullet lodged in his chest, a nifty Dr. House-esque cane, and too many bad hospital jokes later, they're getting married, and Sam's never been happier.

He doesn't hear what the guy's saying, and quite frankly he doesn't care, not when he's so in love, not when nothing could ever go wrong again (the worst has already hit them, several times over, and whatever is in the future cannot be as bad as what's in their past).

Gabriel's twirling a lollipop between his fingers and so it's so him that Sam almost cries – and then he is, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees even Becky and Chuck look a little bit less bitchy and a little more happy. Castiel and Dean Jr are there too, and maybe if Sam tilts his head to the left and squints a fraction of an inch, he can see Dean giving him a thumbs up, and his mom blowing him kisses, and his dad just looking so damn proud.

And then Gabriel's grabbing him and kissing him,and there's cheering from the ten-odd people in the room (after the incident, they cut back on a lot of things) and Sam's so full of love and joy and everything that he can barely stand it.

“I love you,” Gabriel whispers, and it's the icing on the already delicious cake.

~X~  
“I thought we already established that honeymoons were overrated,” Gabriel mumbles as they step off the plane, Sam wincing at every stumble he manages with his cane.

“I don't care,” Sam chuckles. “You deserve the world's finest chocolate.”

“And you deserve to be holed up in bed with orange juice and a big stack of pancakes, and a certain Jesse Turner deserves the death sentence, but we don't always get what we deserve now do we?”

Of course, some time later, Gabriel's already managed to snag a sample from an airport-issued chocolate shop, and he says, “Damn, if airport chocolate tastes like angel sweat, I can only imagine what that high-end stuff's like. I'm loving this place already.”

~X~

Marriage is easier than Sam expected.

Before Dean had died, they always joked about how neither of them would probably ever get married – “Pfft, the domestic life” – but Sam really likes it. There's no doubts, not at all, and he likes waking up to Gabriel, and going to sleep with Gabriel, and coming home to Gabriel, and just everything in-between. He likes the “Mr. and Mrs. Winchester-Novak”s they get in the mail, because it's funny as hell, and usually they're both falling over each other laughing because of some argument of whether or not Sam or Gabe is the “Mrs”.

He likes the way Gabriel eggs him on during physical therapy, and the way he always forgets to close the toothpaste, and the way he leaves fingerprints on the mirror. He likes that the only thing he can make are sweets, and how Gabriel complains about the sixteen cavities he has, and how fierce he gets when they fight, which isn't often. And he likes Castiel, and Dean Jr, and Athena, who comes to visit, and Gabriel likes Jo and Ellen and Bobby, which is all that's left of Sam's family.

More than anything, he likes the way Gabriel says, “I love you.”

~X~

Gabriel's staring at a newspaper.

“What is it?” Sam asks, glancing up from his case files and frowning at Gabriel's furrowed brow.

Gabriel sighs and pushes the newspaper towards Sam, finger pressed against the face of a smiling baby. “Their advertising adoptions,” bitterness leaks in his tone, but there's something layered underneath that that Sam recognizes.

“Gabe --”

“I know, Sam. We can't afford – and you're physical therapy – and, I know, Sam, I know,” Gabe lets out a long breath, like he does when he's trying not to cry. “I just can't help but wish, y'know.”

“I know. I want to, too.”

“I – you do?” Gabriel's amber eyes light up.

“Yeah, and you know, I think we can afford it – now that my insurance went through, we don't have to worry about the physical therapy bills. Just, no promises that I'll be able to keep up with --”

Sam doesn't get to finish his sentence because Gabriel literally flies right across the tabletop and kisses Sam with everything inside of him. “I love you so much it hurts.”

~X~

They didn't pick Amelia, but she picked them.

“My husband died in Afghanistan, not that long ago,” she tells them, “And I just – I can't raise a baby on my own. This is the best thing for him – her, I don't know yet.” She laughs lightly. “But you two are lovely, and if there's anybody in this world I want taking care of my child, it's you two.”

Sam and Gabriel loved her from the start, and this just seals the deal.

~X~

They don't get the news until after the baby's born.

“What do you mean, she changed her mind?!” Gabriel screeches to the social agent, and there's tears running down his face, and Sam's trying oh so hard to hold him back.

“This happens often with young mothers,” the social agent, a quirky, awkward little guy named, ironically, Samandriel (Gabriel calls him “Alfie” because, “There's no way I'm calling you Sam”) . As of right now, Gabriel's yelling Samandriel like it's the worst curse word he can think of.

Sam has to practically lug him out of the hospital, and once outside, they just sit on the ground and Sam holds him and lets him vent.

“It's okay, Gabe, we'll try again.”

“I already let myself love that baby,” Gabriel sobs.

~X~

Claire is sweet.

That's Sam's first thought when they visit the odd little convention at Central Park that Samandriel told them about, for older children who still haven't found homes. Gabriel and Sam argued about it for weeks, Gabriel saying he wants a baby, and Sam arguing that there's babies being born and taken care of every hour, and there's no one left for the rest of them, so they might as well.

Sam won that argument, but Gabriel's still not happy about it.

He's sulking by the ice cream cart, frowning at a couple that's playing with a toddler by a swing set. Sam watches him from a distance, sighing, and just sort of wishing that he could make Gabriel happy, when a ball rolls across the grass and nearly knocks his cane out of his grasp.

He regains his footing just before he goes down, leaning against the tree for support, and a little blonde girl with intelligent eyes comes running up. “I'm sorry, sir,” she says in a voice that reminds Sam of honey.

“No, no, that's alright,” he smiles reassuringly and carefully, and slowly, sits down on the grass to give his leg a break.

“Why do you have a cane?” The girl asks, staring at her ball as if nervous to ask. “I-I mean, you're not old, so.”

Sam laughs, “I got in an accident a little while ago. It just helps me walk, that's all.”

“My parents got in an accident too,” she whispers. “Except, they died.”  
  
“Oh, I'm so sorry.”

“That's okay,” she sniffs. “I mean, Samandriel says there are other people who are willing to love me, and not to be too sad.”

“Samandriel really doesn't have the best way with words does he?”

She laughs lightly and Sam allows himself a small smile. “My name's Sam.”

“Claire,” she beams.

“It's nice to meet you, Claire.”

“Who's this?”

Sam looks up and Gabriel's eying Claire with something Sam can't identify in his golden eyes, holding two ice cream cones in both of his hands.

“Claire, this is Gabriel,” Sam smiles and gives Gabriel a look like, don't-you-dare-be-mean-to-this-little-girl.

Gabriel gives Claire his ice cream (and then ends up eating Sam's), and they talk to her for hours and hours and hours until Samandriel comes to collect her and it's sunset and everyone's leaving.

“I like her,” Gabriel says when they're in the car, and Sam smiles.

~X~

“Sam! Gabe!”

Claire comes running with her arms held wide and flings them around Sam and Gabriel’s respective waits, Samandriel staring at them fondly. He glances at the watch on his wrist, “I’ll be by for a social visit soon,” he tells them with a smile, and then he’s gone.

Gabriel kneels down so that he’s eye level with Claire and says, “You ready to go home, kiddo?”

Her eyes light up and when he says, “I love you guys,” Sam nearly cries.

~X~

Castiel and Dean Jr meet Claire, Gabriel’s parents meet Claire (wasn’t the most pleasant experience and Claire didn’t seem to like them very much), Hell, even Athena meets Claire, and it’s one big family Christmas dinner and Sam never thought he’d be this happy.

He shoots a thanks to God and to his parents and even his brother and he tells them all he loves them and this life he has, and Gabriel catches him in the act. He doesn’t say anything, just gets on his knees on the floor next to Sam and tells God (and Dean, which makes Sam smile) that he loves his life too.

~X~  
Claire comes home in the 8th grade with her hair knotted and a detention slip in her grasp.  
  
Sam and Gabriel exchange long, soulful looks and Sam takes the slip without a word, his eyebrows going up. Gabriel adjusts his glasses on his face and peers at Claire in confusion. “What happened?”

Claire breathes a heavy sigh and flops down in her chair. “Jesse Turner said that there must be something wrong with me because I have two dads and he said he made all these awful gay jokes and called you faggots and said only faggots would want me and that you were going to hell and so I punched him in his fat ugly face.”

Sam pushed a fist into his mouth to keep from laughing but Gabriel didn’t hold back, wrapped his arms around their daughter, buried his face in her hair and said, “I love you, darling. We raised you right!”

~X~

“JESUS, FUCK.”

“DAD, OH MY GOD.”

“GET OUT OF MY DAUGHTER’S BEDROOM.”

“I’m so sorry sir, won’t happen again, sir -”

“JUST GET OUT.”

“What’s happening?” Sam comes running into the hallway from the kitchen, a towel thrown over his shoulder, his hands covered in marinara sauce and salad dressing. Gabriel is red faced and he’s leaning against the wall with a hand to his heart, breathing heavily. Claire is in the doorway, leaning against it in the same manner with her light eyes wide and her mouth set in a scowl. “WHy didn’t you knock?!”

“WHY WAS YOUR MOUTH ON HIS DICK?!” Gabriel shoots back and Sam wants to faint with the words.

Claire makes a strangled noise in reply and slams the door behind her - there’s a muffled sound of screaming, and Sam’s pretty sure she’d doing that thing where she takes her frustrations out on her pillow.

“I will kill that mother fucker with my bare hands -” Gabriel begins, staring at Sam like he fully expects him to back him up, but Sam holds up a hand to stop him.

“Just help me make dinner,” he says. “It’s your favorite.”

Gabriel’s gaze lights up at the prospect of food and the image of his daughter doing sexual things (cringe) is momentarily forgotten. “Oh, awesome, I love your pasta concoctions.”

~X~

They tell you that as you get older, your life moves faster, and for Sam, that was certainly true. Before he knew it, Claire was married with children of her own, and so was Dean Jr, and everything was so perfect, more perfect than it had any right to be.

Sam’s never been more loved in his whole life.

~X~

“Samsquatch, where are my glasses?”

“Have you see my book, Sam?”

“When is Claire coming home?”

“Have you seen Dean Jr walk yet, it’s the cutest thing ever, I swear.”

“You love me, don’t you, Sam?”

 

~X~

Early onset Alzheimer's.

That’s what they’re calling it, even though Gabriel isn’t even seventy, and Sam thinks it’s so unfair, the most unfair thing ever, and fuck him, he thinks, he made Sam promise never to leave him and then he went ahead and did it himself. He left him in the worst way possible, and that was to look at him every morning like he was a stranger that could never be trusted in a million years.

He forgot his own daughter, his own grandkids, he forgot everything, but worst of all, he forgot Sam.

The last time Gabriel said “I love you” was when Sam had slowly made him fall in love with him again.

~X~

Sam Winchester is eighty-two years old when he dies.

He awakes to a golden light and clouds and candy canes (he doesn't bother trying to think of that one) and when he looks down at his hands and bare feet, they’re unlined and soft and young again, and when he touches his face it’s unwrinkled as well. He runs his fingers through his hair and it’s thick and full in his hands, but more importantly, when he looks to his left, there’s Gabriel, young and whole and healthy and he remembers me, oh God.

“Where are we?” Sam breathes, and when he looks to his right, there’s Dean, and mom and Dad and God, there’s everyone smiling and laughing and Castiel and oh my God, if people could fall in love in the afterlife, Sam’s pretty sure Dean and Castiel could do it.

“Home,” is all Gabriel says, and then Sam’s wrapped up in a big ball of love, and he stays like that forever.


End file.
